For Men on Abortion
At New York OB/GYN Associates™ we understand that an unwanted pregnancy can be a difficult challenge for both partners in the relationship. Although you are going through the situation together, you may be experiencing different emotions. A woman has to deal with pregnancy hormones, and being the one who undergoes the physical aspect of the abortion or the pregnancy. As the male in the relationship, you are also feeling emotions and it is important to stay open and communicate those emotions to your partner. This is a critical decision that you are making together and an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Difficult situations often strengthen a couple, if you work through the situation and help each other get through the emotions and difficulties experienced. This is a chance to learn more about your partner and learn how to handle tough decisions as a couple. This will in turn help you become a healthier couple by growing together.
It is not only the woman that is dealing with the realities of the unwanted pregnancy, you are also dealing with many emotions. You may feel differently about the options on how to move forward, but it is ultimately the woman’s decision. It is important to let your partner know how you feel and what you think in a compassionate manner.
We have outlined a few tips on how you can be there for your partner:
Women often feel extreme emotions during this time. Try hard to support your partner and let her know it is ok to experience mixed emotions and responses. Although you may not understand how she is feeling, she is the one who is pregnant therefore her emotions may not seem rational to you. She may experience extreme anger, sadness or disappointment. She may be moody or unable to articulate how she feels. All of these reactions are normal and it is best to be there for her and let her experience these emotions knowing she has your support. Ask her what she needs or wants. Listen to her and be affectionate. Make sure she feels that you want to be there for her. Let her know you are there to stay and there to help her through this situation that you got into together.
Don’t shy away from her extreme emotions:
Let her be angry, she is pregnant and is in a tough position. No matter how difficult this is, she has to be the one to make the decision because she is the one carrying out the pregnancy or the abortion. Be sensitive to this, and find ways to let her know you are there for her.
Another important lesson is to be honest. While a woman may make the ultimate decision about the pregnancy it is important that she knows exactly how you feel and what you want to do as well. It is imperative that if she makes a decision you do not become resentful of her because you did not articulate how you felt before the decision was made. Whether she decides to continue with the pregnancy or terminate the pregnancy you must be there for her emotionally and financially to support her decision. If she decides to continue with the pregnancy you have to be the best father that you can be. This means supporting your wife and child financially until your child reaches college. The most disappointing thing you can do is make promises that you cannot keep. You must make it clear that you will be there for her no matter what she chooses, however your feelings on her decision must also be heard. It is better for her to know how you feel than for her to have false expectations. If you think its best for her to end the pregnancy you should tell her. Tell her the reasons for how you feel. You may not feel that you financially ready yet, or you may feel that there are things you would like to accomplish before committing to becoming a father. There may be a variety of reasons for how you may feel and it is important that you convey them to her.
Understand it is ultimately her decision:
The more support you give, the more she will know that she is not alone. This support will help give her confidence in her relationship and in the ultimate decision she needs to make. It is essential that you understand that this is ultimately her decision. This may not seem fair. However she is carrying the pregnancy and the pregnancy can only proceed if she chooses to allow it to continue. You need to accept this situation, and all you can do is to be honest and direct your energy into supporting her to make her decision. Understand that she can bring a child into this world whether you like it or not. If she does you are obligated by law to financially support her and the child for the next 21 years.
Seek support from your peers:
One of the more difficult aspects of going through an unwanted pregnancy is that people do not openly talk about the subject. Many couples go through this once in their lives. If you know anyone who has been through the same situation, reach out to them, talk about how you feel. Research stories of other couples over the Internet. Take advantage of any sources you can to get advice from, to talk to, or simply, to hear about others in a similar situation.
Seek the best medical care:
Do your due diligence. Make sure you research all the best medical providers, if you have reached this website you most likely already know that New York OB/GYN Associates™ offers superior private early abortion solutions, and is recognized as a national leader in abortion care with over 30 years of experience. Our offices provide an environment that is safe and private, where our board certified OB/GYN’s offer compassionate and expert care. We are a full service private practice OB/GYN office that offers the newest state of the art abortion methods. At this point we can discuss the best option for your partner.
Do not procrastinate:
If you have decided to end the pregnancy call and make an appointment with a doctor at New York OB/GYN Associates™. Even if you have not decided which method to end the pregnancy, you can still meet with the doctor to go over your options. You may also meet with the doctor and get an ultrasound so you can determine the length of pregnancy. The more information you have, the easier it will be to make the best decision for you and your partner.
Take responsibility in preventing a future unwanted pregnancy:
Lastly take responsibility and try to prevent a future unwanted pregnancy. Learn about all your birth control options
. At New York OB/GYN Associates™ you can talk to a doctor about all the different methods of birth control.